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SmartSista: I had a dad

Did you grow up without one?

June celebrates Father's Day. I’ve been thinking a lot about the role my father played in my life and how I turned out as a young woman because of it.

I grew up in a family with both parents present. My father was always there for us.

Okay so maybe he couldn’t always pay my school fees on time or buy me expensive clothing. And maybe he argued with my mother a bit too much. But he played his part in my life and I’m grateful. I grew up feeling that I belonged.

Yes, I got my fair share of discipline and fights. But there was love. That love gave me roots. It boosted my confidence and self-esteem.

Now that I have left home, I am not running around after men. I don’t feel I have to compromise myself sexually, emotionally, physically or mentally for a man to love me.

But not all of my friends have what I have.

Some of my girlfriends grew up without fathers. These are the ones that seem to want male attention to prove to themselves that they are beautiful or valuable. These friends show how easy it is in this life to be used, abused or lied to.

I know that no girl has to settle for that kind of bad love. So hear me, girls: you can leave a bad relationship - this man is not your father and does not deserve your love.

SmartSista is right. You can’t change your family - but you can get out of a relationship that makes you feel bad about who you are.

How did your childhood make you the person you are today? Share your thoughts below...


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