My school friend is in the most terrible position. She is dating an older man. Call him what you want, a sugar daddy, a blesser - it all spells trouble.
But that's not the worst. When her mother found out, she begged my friend to get this man to start buying food for the family. They just don’t have money. My friend’s mother has to look after her and her brother on her own. So the favours started off with helping make ends meet. Then it became a habit: he buys all the groceries at the end of every month.
Of course this guy has been okay with doing this. He’s got the money. Plus, it gives him a secure place in my friend’s' life. He’s even offered to start paying for her mother's visits to the clinic.
I told my friend to leave him immediately. But I know it's not as simple as that. She feels like she's helping her mom out by dating the guy. And yes, she is! But I can't help thinking it's just wrong of her mom to put that kind of responsibility on her.
I invite her to stay at my place as often as I can so that she can get a break from her home life.
Money is tight and food is short for many people. Sometimes personal sacrifice sounds like a good trade-off to help the people you love. So many people slip into relationships where they are trading sexual favours for money. But that doesn’t make it right! An older man carries a higher risk of passing HIV onto a younger girl. No gift is worth risking your health for the rest of your life.